I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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