im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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