I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
