i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Randomize
