i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
