I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Randomize
