I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize