And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We have started to decorate penises.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
