Are we in a gay sports bar?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
