Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
