a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
