Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
