I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
