dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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