I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
