Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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