so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
