I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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