I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Randomize
