I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
