if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize