Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
