She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
