I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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