Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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