it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
