Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
