Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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