it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
