your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
