Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
