I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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