3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Randomize
