omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
