I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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