so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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