I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
