Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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