Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
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