that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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