have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
