Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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