youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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