He is an equal opportunity slut.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He keeps bees of course he's weird
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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