Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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