I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
