It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
