some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
