either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
