Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
