I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
