He is an equal opportunity slut.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize