Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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