The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
