bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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