im drinking this country out of the recession.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Randomize
