Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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