I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize