He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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