Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
