Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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