you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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